I think this is going to be more of a laid-back post (even more so than usual) with me just updating you all on what I’ve been doing, sort of like a journal post.
So as you know, if you read my post about New Year’s resolutions, my biggest resolution was to become more positive. I can’t tell as of yet if much has changed so far, so all I can say for that is I’m still working on it. I think things might be better only because I’m more used to things now and feeling better personally. I feel like I’d resort back to my pessimistic, depressed self when the situation calls for it–and that shouldn’t be the case. I should be positive all the time, when I can be. I have been feeling a sort of panicky sensation internally at times these days when I think about the future and my career, but I try to hold it in and remain optimistic! It’s interesting how I also have to practice feelings and a way of thinking.
As for my next biggest resolution, which is working on my hobbies, that’s been okay, actually. I got really into sketching and got a lot better at it, but I then got stuck in a rut, because I really liked a sketch I did after which I felt uninspired and pressured to do even better on my next one. After a few days break, I tried to get back at it, forcing myself to do it, but it hadn’t been the same, which made me understand artists who sadly yearn for a muse to inspire them. I think just that picture I sketched was a really great one to me because she looked really pretty and had big facial features that stood out. Not to mention, she was facing directly forward, so the dimensions and proportions were easier to capture. I’ve been trying to experiment with more profiles and other angles now. It’s harder, but that’s the challenge! I don’t like stopping when it’s easy anymore. Then there’s no improvement and I’m tired of being just “good/okay/mediocre” at things, not great. So I made myself get a few bum sketches out that I didn’t like, knowing that’d break the streak, and got back to it. And I’ve been able to do a few more sketches I’m somewhat satisfied with! I don’t see much improvement so far, but I don’t think consistency at this point is bad either. I need to be able to do it a couple times before I start entering the next level, right?
The sketch that I was proud of (feel free to follow me on Instagram)
My most recent sketches since that one that I’ve been satisfied with (still struggling with capturing a complete likeness…)
Next, I got really into Episode Interactive, an interactive story app on the phone. I tried once before to make a story on it, but it seemed so complicated I stopped right away. This time, I pursued it a bit more, actually writing a basic outline for the story to make things easier. It was very hard, but also very interesting to get used to the sort of coding required to direct and write the story! I legit felt like I was learning how to code.
Like, seriously, look at this… WTF??? Loool
I was sort of proud of myself when I got the hang of it and actually wrote three episodes, which is enough to get published, because it reminded me of when I was younger. I pride myself in self-teaching. When I was young, I taught myself to type in English and Korean, to use html to make my own websites, photo shop, make animated gifs and the like through Illusion (I believe the program was called…), and more. Sure, it does sound like I’m bragging, but I think sometimes people need that–to get some of their accomplishments out there. Bringing up my past accomplishments reminds me of all the potential I had when I was younger and the good traits I had in the past that I sort of lost along the way, like a dogged determination to learn. (BTW, I liked how Shonda Rhimes covered the whole “bragging” thing in her book, Year of Yes.) But anyway, I’ve been doing those stuff, and it’s been fun! I’m definitely getting the hang of Episode Interactive, and it’s interesting to solve problems by figuring out the coding and looking up answers and advice online! If you have the app, try out my story! It’s a bit discouraging and now, again, I’m stuck in a rut, though, because I haven’t been getting much of a response for it, and I think responses are always nice motivators for everyone. Also, it’s honestly pretty tiring, so I’m a bit drained and need a rest to continue my story outline and then actually “code” it.
Otherwise, I have been wanting to do more hobbies, like studying Spanish and Japanese, but my room has been a mess because we’ve been rearranging and throwing out stuff, and I don’t want to take out those books and create an even bigger mess. So I guess I’ll wait on that, but that also feels a bit like an excuse… I’ve been wanting to practice the piano again, but it definitely needs a tune-up and that costs over 100 dollars,so I’m going to wait a bit on that. I haven’t been writing as often as I wanted to, so I could definitely work more on that, but that’s not so much a hobby as an actually important practice for me.
So that’s what’s been going on for me so far in 2017! I can’t believe it’s already February… Time really flies, which shows how important it is to use time wisely and to total advantage. I’m going to keep at it, and I will keep you all updated! And let me know how your own year has been!