If you watch Mean Girls or read Before I Fall or just observe your surroundings, you’ll notice that people move in packs or herds like animals. If you think it’s just in high school, then one word: HAHHHH.
It’s common, and they can also be called cliques, but I don’t know… I was never really into it. It’s nice when I feel a part of a group, for sure, but it’s always restricting and full of drama and I’ve always been a bit more of a lone wolf or one-on-one type of person, so groups have never really been for me… So let’s go into the ups and downs of being in a group.
Advantages of being in a group:
- You’re part of some secret club, and people are less likely to mess with you. People don’t mess with me anyway, but there’s something exclusive about being in a group, I guess. Also, you’re just a part of something, so there’s a greater sense of belonging.
- More people, more fun, right…?
- You, as a group, can go traveling together because it’s always better to travel as a pack. This is what I want the most. I can still do it but most of my friends aren’t friends with one another, so it’s a bit trickier. I have one friend here, one friend there, one friend elsewhere, and they’re for the most part not connected.
- There are fun group chats and inside jokes and special events and hangouts and all that.
- A group can be more reliable and less lonely.
- Admittedly, the drama can be fun sometimes.
Disadvantages of being in a group:
- You have to be a group, always together if you do anything at all. If you call up one friend to hang out, that person will be like, “Omg, we should totally call this person, too, and this person, and this person,” and you’re like, “No, bish, there’s no need to turn this into a whole thing,” like every frigging time. And again you find yourself in a group outing with the same people.
- So much drama. I can only take so much. There are subgroups within the group. No one can completely trust one another. Well, in those huge, “close-knit” groups anyway.
- It’s impossible to plan anything. I’m the type who likes to have things organized and concrete, but no one else gives a damn and I can’t stand those people. Get the f outta here. But also, it’s just hard the more people there are to make plans because you gotta work with everyone’s schedules and preferences.
- You get sick of one another once in a while… Let’s be real. Same faces every single time? Especially because groups seem to rarely hang with people outside the group. What is this, marriage?
- I personally feel trapped in groups. I’m fine when there are two or three people in the group, then it’s still personal and nice, but anything bigger and I feel cornered. It’s a lot of commitment and takes too much of my energy as an introvert.
- There’s a lot more responsibility when it comes to being a part of a group, whereas being alone or having just a few close friends offers more freedom.
- A lot of time, groups are downright obnoxious.
- There’s a hierarchy and people who have to take charge and others who don’t or want to but can’t. It’s a whole social structure. You have the people who don’t care, the people who care too much, and there’s an overall imbalance. It’s hard to strike the right chord.
Honestly, groups can be nice and I get the appeal, but they’re not for me. Everyone’s different, after all. In the end, it can be a bit lonely, but I love my freedom too much to conform to a group. I hate dealing with a lot of people at the same time and am too obstinate to do whatever the group wants when I don’t want to do it, which seems to be a must in groups. I like occasionally hanging out in groups, but I just can’t belong to a group.
How about you? Are you more of a lone wolf, one-on-one person, or a group member?